LowBlog

Shorter one. If you were betting that I was not going to get up at 4am today, congrats you were right, but I am not giving you money. Very disappointing but I accepted this outcome when it was half past midnight before I got to sleep. I tried to get to sleep much sooner than that but I would just lay there awake as I had been doing most nights, with my mind in a spiral and my stomach in knots. I am incredibly sick of this. I have been to literal war, but I would far rather be back out there in the middle of the desert surrounded by people who want to saw my head off with a dull blade, than to spend another night here. I’ll survive though, and I’ll try again tomorrow, 5am is much easier anyways. As for today, I am about to head to the gym and hit a leg day, one small win to note for myself is that in all of my time spent in the gym I had habitually skipped leg days but as of late I have not skipped a single one and intend on maintaining that. The gym has been an incredible tool for drowning out the noise that has been extra loud lately. When I am focused in on my workout, it’s like all of my voices consolidate into just one, very peaceful. When I return from the gym I will continue my studying and maybe make another random sidebar post. Anyway, later.